Well Yeehaw, It's an NFL Roundup!

Jets 47, Rams 3

The Jets are this year's team that drives "experts" crazy, because they aren't really that great on paper and their wins are kind of ugly. However, this adds to the Brett Favre legacy, so Peter King's wide smile will warm everyone's criticisms away.

Falcons 34, Saints 20

I'm still amazed that when I was a kid I didn't confuse these two teams up constantly.

Titans 21, Bears 14

Last night at a manhattan bar:

Giants fan: How about those Titans right?

Me: Yeah with Kerry Collins and everything it's amazing.

Giants fan: Yeah but being undefeated is tough. They're going to lose sooner or later.

Me: Yeah, better to get it out of the way right?

(Giants fan doesn't take the bait. Kudos.)

Jaguars 38, Lions 14

Jaguars fan via text: "Yay we beat the 0-7 Detroit Lions".

Ravens 41, Texans 13

What is this spit soup?
It's the Houston Texans.
What is this snot soup?
It's the Houston Texans.
What is this diarhhea soup?
It's the Houston Texans!!

Congrats to Joe Flacco and the Ravens. Joe is going to be feeling pretty good about himself tomorrow at his car mechanic job.

Dolphins 21, Seahawks 19

Dan Marino was way too happy to announce on CBS that the Dolphins have a winning record. I WISH ACE VENTURA NEVER SAVED YOU MARINO!!

Vikings 28, Packers 27

The Vikings had two safeties in this game. They also hosted the game where Dan Orlovsky unknowingly ran outside of the end zone for ten seconds, giving the Vikings two points and a bunch of laughs. Interesting right?

Patriots 20, Bills 10

Tom Brady was...nevermind

Panthers 17, Raiders 6

This game sounded like it was incredibly boring.

Colts 24, Steelers 20

Shades of the 1996 AFC Championship Game, except this time around the Colts won on a failed Hail Mary pass. Steelers got karma'd!

Chargers 20, Chiefs 19

Chiefs fucked up an extra point early on, which led them to be down 20-13 late in the fourth quarter. Thigpen is lucky to have Tony Gonzalez going after footballs for him, every pass looks like it could had been intercepted. He managed to put one between Gonzalez's numbers to make it 20-19 with less than a minute left, and Herm Edwards and his huge "we're 1-7" balls decided to go for two. Didn't work. Apparently even if you throw it towards Tony Gonzalez, you probably shouldn't do it off your backfoot after running thirteen yards backwards. But what do I know?

Giants at Eagles: Too Close to Call