Damn I Love the SI Vault

In 2004, Sports Illustrated published an article about the life and times of Scott Norwood. You can read A Life After Wide Right here.

Circle the Wagons

We in upstate New York are going to build ourselves forts in the snow that fell overnight, crawl into them, and stay there until football season is over. 

Also, I hope karma comes back to bite the ESPN announcing team for starting - at the beginning of the Bills' last drive - to chatter endlessly about "Oh, heh heh, WIDE RIGHT! Scott Norwood! Buffalo won't win a game on a long field goal because WIDE RIGHT! SCOTT NORWOOD! Heh heh!" 

IT WAS 17 YEARS AGO. No one from that team is still in the NFL. If Norwood had pulled a Morten Andersen and was still kicking, then you could devote a solid 5 minutes of booth time to it. But this is its own game and its own play. So Lindell kicked into the funky Ralph Wilson Stadium wind and didn't make it. Mr Cab's post below, about choice of goal in the 4th, makes as good a point as any I've seen; other Internet nerds are wondering why Jauron called for short Lynch runs rather than trying for bigger gains to make it a shorter kick. These arguments - and DOZENS of other arguments, like "what's wrong with Trent Edwards," "where's Lee Evans," and the like - have a LOT more to do with this game than one bad-luck kick seventeen years ago. 

What Were They Thinking?!

The Bills received in teh first half, so I'm assuming this means the Browns chose to receive in the second. This means the Bills decided which goal to defens in the second half. For some bizarre reason, they took the wind at their backs for the Third quarter and not the Fourth. And I thought to myself, "Wow that's dumb!"

Lo, how does the game end? Browns kick a really long field goal to take the lead with the wind at their backs with less than 3:00 left. Bills miss a really long field goal wide right into the wind.

Come on guys! This was a dumbass move! You fail at football. TAKE THE WIND IN THE FOURTH.

The only possible reason I can think of to take the wind in the third, is if you have some sort of gaurenteed knowledge that the wind will die down (or even reverse itself) at the end of the third quarter. And even then, that means trusting a weather man. You better have a damn good weather man AND damn predictable weather patterns before you try to claim that.

This isn't to say there weren't some dumb calls in there. The refs certainly didn't help the Bills; lack of Offensive interference on what could have been a pick in the end zone in the second, and the Unnecesary roughness on the hit on a guy in bounds. I would have actually bought Taunting on the Roughness call, and I'll admit I couldn't hear everything the ref said, but I'm pretty sure I heard "Roughness". Even still, if you can't hold your thumb up and figure out which way to go...especially after the kicking game of the first half...I can't muster much sympathy. Mine's all wasted on myself after the baseball season.

Jets Rant

As some may know, I'm a Jet fan. A passive one these days, since I'm not living in the market so watching the games is a problem, and admitedly I can barely name 5 Jets.

Well, as of today, I can name 6. Someone decided to sign Ty Law, and one radio host (on ESPN radio no less) decided to talk about it as being gamesmenship. He also mentioned that Law hasn't played for the Pats for years, so he probably doesn't know their game plans that well anymore.

If he had looked around for another 5 seconds, this radio guy might have noticed Law was actually a Jet for a year after playing for the Pats. Forget the Pats game plan, he's more likely to know the Jets'!

And one more note. Roger mentioned, two posts ago, that the Dolphins have a winning record. Two words - Chad Pennington. The man's a good QB, would be great if he had an arm. But all you really need is "good" and "Doesn't create turnovers" and the rest of the team should be able to pick up the slack! And so the Dolphins have a winning record with the Jets' QB. I still don't know how they were dumb enough to do the very thing Green Bay didn't want to do with Favre - let a division rival get him. When the Dolphins make the playoffs, and Chad continues his streak of getting into the playoffs EVERY OTHER YEAR, I need to remember to write the Jets an angry letter.

A Good Day To Be A Rules Lawyer

Sunday had 2 good situations to have a rule book on hand. Sadly I don't have the NFL rule book, but I think the coaches do.

First the one that wasn't challenged. In Aaron Rogers fumbled into the end zone against the Vikings. He stumbled back to get the ball, and feeling the impending sack in the end zone, shoveled the ball forward. The initial call was "Illegal Forward Pass". My initial reaction was "WTF?!"

Now, I'm told it was later "revised" to be intentional grounding. Given that he definitely broke the spirit of that rule (someone ran back for it and got within maybe 7 or 10 yards of it), and didn't get the ball past the line of scrimage (so being out of the pocket is a moot point), they're right to make a call on a maybe. He had no intention of making that pass close. But can we please not make riculous calls like "Illegal Forward Pass" on it?

Then there's the Giants.

Coughlin needs an actual rule book to throw at the refs next time he pulls that. That was a wonderful display of "Fuck you" if I've ever seen one. Manning's foot on the line there was almost like the guy getting hit by a throw to first who's in fair territory outside of the running lane who says "but I need to touch first!"...except his foot was (just (barely) ) on the other side of the line. Wow.

Otherwise, the only thing to say here? I didn't know Boss could jump.

Well Yeehaw, It's an NFL Roundup!

Jets 47, Rams 3

The Jets are this year's team that drives "experts" crazy, because they aren't really that great on paper and their wins are kind of ugly. However, this adds to the Brett Favre legacy, so Peter King's wide smile will warm everyone's criticisms away.

Falcons 34, Saints 20

I'm still amazed that when I was a kid I didn't confuse these two teams up constantly.

Titans 21, Bears 14

Last night at a manhattan bar:

Giants fan: How about those Titans right?

Me: Yeah with Kerry Collins and everything it's amazing.

Giants fan: Yeah but being undefeated is tough. They're going to lose sooner or later.

Me: Yeah, better to get it out of the way right?

(Giants fan doesn't take the bait. Kudos.)

Jaguars 38, Lions 14

Jaguars fan via text: "Yay we beat the 0-7 Detroit Lions".

Ravens 41, Texans 13

What is this spit soup?
It's the Houston Texans.
What is this snot soup?
It's the Houston Texans.
What is this diarhhea soup?
It's the Houston Texans!!

Congrats to Joe Flacco and the Ravens. Joe is going to be feeling pretty good about himself tomorrow at his car mechanic job.

Dolphins 21, Seahawks 19

Dan Marino was way too happy to announce on CBS that the Dolphins have a winning record. I WISH ACE VENTURA NEVER SAVED YOU MARINO!!

Vikings 28, Packers 27

The Vikings had two safeties in this game. They also hosted the game where Dan Orlovsky unknowingly ran outside of the end zone for ten seconds, giving the Vikings two points and a bunch of laughs. Interesting right?

Patriots 20, Bills 10

Tom Brady was...nevermind

Panthers 17, Raiders 6

This game sounded like it was incredibly boring.

Colts 24, Steelers 20

Shades of the 1996 AFC Championship Game, except this time around the Colts won on a failed Hail Mary pass. Steelers got karma'd!

Chargers 20, Chiefs 19

Chiefs fucked up an extra point early on, which led them to be down 20-13 late in the fourth quarter. Thigpen is lucky to have Tony Gonzalez going after footballs for him, every pass looks like it could had been intercepted. He managed to put one between Gonzalez's numbers to make it 20-19 with less than a minute left, and Herm Edwards and his huge "we're 1-7" balls decided to go for two. Didn't work. Apparently even if you throw it towards Tony Gonzalez, you probably shouldn't do it off your backfoot after running thirteen yards backwards. But what do I know?

Giants at Eagles: Too Close to Call

A Failed Hockey Fan Fesses Up

I was an intermittently rabid Buffalo Sabres fan from the age of thirteen (Mike Peca was sooo cute back then!) through college and grad school, when I was living, working, and watching sports in upstate New York. I even bought my ex playoff tickets for his birthday and enthusiastically accompanied him to a game (even if they did lose, and even if I did get hit on by Canadian guys every time he got up for a beer). 

I moved to Metro New York for a year and was given two hockey options on basic cable: Rangers or Islanders. Being too poor and busy to drop the cash on Center Ice for my 14" TV, I chose instead to fall out of the hockey loop and focus my sports energies on football. Imagine my surprise when, while perusing Yahoo's Puck Daddy blog, I learned Dmitri Kalinin has become a New York Ranger. This blows a HUGE hole in the old Buffalo Sabres Drinking Game, where a Kalinin screw-up merited - if I recall correctly - finishing your beer. 

Enjoy your beer-finishings, New Yorkers! 

Mike Francesa Is a Big Fat Idiot

I'm distracted tonight...but yeah...

Link

We knew all along (and from personal experience) that Mike Francesa's talk-radio blather last month about Mets New York Mets right fielder Ryan Church hating it in New York was a bunch of nonsense. Well, that was confirmed from the source today when Church told mlb.com that there was no truth to what Francesa said. "I say just [to] consider the source," Church said. "I never said anything like that, never thought anything like that. With all that happened [his concussions and the extended absence they caused], I really enjoyed my time playing. And when I finally got back, the way I was received [at Shea Stadium Aug. 22], it was great. I love it there. I want to play there, I want to finish there."

He's like, always wrong. It's amazing. You'd think at some point by law of averages he'd be right about SOMETHING. But clearly he isn't an idiot, he's always gotten the ratings. Maybe *I* should start being wrong all the time.

Tales of Bad Luck

I'm going to pull a Bill Simmons/Michael Silver here and, instead of writing in a sorta-academic fashion about sports, tell a story about someone's fantasy football team. In this case, it's my own.

I'm a girl, and this is my first foray into fantasy sports of any kind. It's not a fancy league, and it's not for money or anything, so I figured it'd be a good first-timer experience. I managed to screw up huge at the very beginning by falling asleep on the afternoon of our live draft. When I woke up 40 minutes after the start time, Yahoo had auto-drafted me Larry Johnson, Michael Turner, Donovan McNabb, Randy Moss, Roddy White, and Javon Walker. I spent the rest of the draft grabbing random tight ends, including Kellen Winslow and several dudes whom I've since switched out. I also realized on the fly how little I knew about NFL defenses; I took a flyer on Pacman Jones in the 14th round, and ended up with the Baltimore D when every other team I thought might work got drafted immediately before my pick.

I find it sad that the only two players that are getting me any points at all out of that list are those who are part of the Atlanta Falcons offense. The remainder of my roster is the flippin' NFL All-Suspension Team, with the exceptions of McNabb (whom I replaced with Philip Rivers because he THROWS for TDs instead of handing off to Brian Westbrook) and Randy Moss (who vanished when Tom Brady's knee caved in). I cut Walker as soon as I figured out how to cut players; I can't cut Johnson or Moss, so they're dead weight in their respective spots (Johnson on the bench, Moss in my 2nd starting WR spot because the best alternative I've had access to in 8 weeks has been Patrick Crayton pre-Romo injury). I have McNabb taking up another bench spot because I keep thinking I can trade him for a viable TE, but never actually get around to it.

My one stroke of luck after Week 1 (I actually won big in my first 2 matchups, but my only win since is over the team that's been in dead last since the beginning) was when that Baltimore/Houston game got hurricaned out. At that point, no one had caught on to the Tennessee D yet, and I dropped a nameless RB to start them in place of Baltimore.

If this tells us anything, it's that past performance is not necessarily predictive of future results. Unless, of course, we're talking about Pacman Jones.

David Wright Somehow Says the Perfect Thing Yet Again

""I don't like those guys," Wright said. "I know they don't like us. There are guys that I respect on that team. I respect them, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to be friends with them. My whole career, I've tried to stay away from that. I'll shake somebody's hand and say hello, but I'm not going to be buddy-buddy with anyone before the game.

"I'm not a big fan of the teams in our division just because we play them so much. I would hope as a competitor that you would have that edge, that you would have a genuine interest to go out there and beat them by as much as you can."

So Much For That...

76ers 116, Knicks 87

In Response To Predicting Two Days Ago That The Phillies Would Continue to Talk About the Mets

Wherein We Reveal Our Baseball Loyalties

This guy ranks the top 50 baseball free agents, and thinks the Mets are the best place for the following: 

1. Oliver Perez, Mets starter

2. Bobby Abreu, Yankees right fielder

3. Juan Cruz, Diamondbacks reliever

4. Orlando Hudson, Diamondbacks 2B

I agree with Perez. While he really is a coin-flip proposition, I think it's probably better for the Mets to bear with the starting pitching ills they have than fly to others they know not of. Sabathia threw a LOT of innings this year, I don't trust AJ Burnett, Ben Sheets gets hurt if he blinks too hard, and the other guys on the list are either old guys unlikely to leave their current homes (Jamie Moyer, Andy Pettite, Randy Johnson) or don't represent that much of an upgrade (Paul Byrd, Braden Looper, Jon Garland).  As for the other three guys, I think Abreu would be sort of expensive and extraneous (I'm not giving up on Nick Evans or Daniel Murphy in the outfield yet). I freely admit to not having seen the Diamondbacks play this season, so I can't comment on Hudson (certainly would represent an upgrade over the creaky-kneed Castillo, though) or Cruz (whom I'd never heard of before reading this article, but this writer proposes as a closer candidate). 

This article also suggests that Manny stay a Dodger AND that the Dodgers sign Sabathia (spending other people's imaginary money is fun, hmm?), the Yankees get Teixeira, and that the Angels keep K-rod. I have come out in favor of the Mets *NOT* breaking the bank for K-rod before, because I think they could come up with someone reliable who doesn't like to play the current Mets Bullpen Game ("three outs in a row are boring, let's put a couple guys on base to spice it up") quite so much. (This season might have gone better for all of us if we'd invented a Mets Bullpen Drinking Game. If Aaron Heilman is still a Met in '09, I will sit down and write some rules for that one.) 

Stop It. Just Stop.

Does anybody remember the SNL bit featuring Ben Stiller (I think) and Mark McKinney(I think) as two men running against each other for congress? After Stiller wins, he continues to air commercials insulting McKinney, bragging incessantly that he won. McKinley and his family are hounded constantly and he pleads to be left alone. It's kind of funny.

The Phillies acting like Ben Stiller's character isn't very funny. it's just plain weird. They are obsessed with the Mets, even after winning THE WORLD SERIES. The latest example of this is the following:

Speaking of Reyes, during today’s broadcast on Comcast SportsNet of the Phillies World Championship parade through Philadelphia, host Michael Barkann asked his co-host, Mitch Williams, “I wonder if Jose Reyes is watching,” continuing, “Do you have anything to say to Reyes.”

Williams responded by saying, “This is what happens when you shut up and play.”

Let. It. Go! YOU WON! SHUT UP!

Best Headline Possible

Singletary dropped pants at halftime when 49ers trailed Seattle

Do you even need to read the rest of the article? Of course you do.

Mike Singletary's motivational message to the 49ers last Sunday in his inaugural game as head coach also included a visual aid.

When his team hit the Candlestick Park locker room at halftime trailing the Seahawks 20-3, Singletary called everyone to attention, dropped his pants and pointed to his rear end, to fully illustrate what the coach thought of his players' performance.

According to a report that first aired on Phoenix-area radio XTRA-910, Singletary then berated the team for three to four minutes with his pants around his ankles. He was wearing boxers.

Singletary did not deny the stunt, which clearly didn't work: The 49ers lost, 34-14.

"I used my pants to illustrate that we were getting our tails whipped on Sunday and how humiliating that should feel for all of us," Singletary confirmed in a blog post on the 49ers' Web site. "I needed to do something to dramatize my point; there were other ways I could have done it but I think this got the message across.

"I am excited about having the team back at practice on Monday so we can get back to work."

Despite his 0-1 record as the 49ers interim coach, Singletary has gained fame for publicly ordering a defiant Vernon Davis off the field and sending him to the showers after the tight end committed a fourth-quarter personal foul. After the game, Singletary's fiery analysis and ranthas become an Internet hit.

A 49ers spokesman clarified how far Singletary actually went with the halftime show, confirming the coach kept his boxers on during the demonstration.

E-mail Nancy Gay at ngay@sfchronicle.com.

It's better to burn out than to fade away...we thought maybe the Raiders would be the first team in NFL history to fire an interim coach during a season, but watch out Al Davis, you might even lose in this contest too!

Our First Insider Intelligence

Cliff Floyd, while staying in the team hotel with the Tampa Bay Rays, ordered waffles and pancakes three times.

I don't blame him. I love me some waffles as well.

Update: Hey it's Roger. I literally phoned this in. (Via text) My friend's sister works at a Delaware hotel, and since there's only one hotel in that "state", the Rays ended up there the night before the postponed fifth game of the World Series. In charge of the room service sis noticed Cliff Floyd ordered in three times, each time for waffles and pancakes. It should be pointed out though that he was with his family. Nonetheless...that factoid is way too interesting.

Stranger Than Fiction

Roger will begrudgingly allow the Phillies to win the World Series in exchange for a Barack Obama victory -my facebook status

Fifty hours after it began, Game 5 of the World Series went to the Phillies. Unfortunately they won three games before tonight in the series, so technically, they are the champions. And I bet they'll still talk about the Mets and their lack of "respect" during the postgame celebration.

But enough of that...unlike the Phillies I don't have a singular focus. The second Brad Lidge (who is the only person I'm happy for) got Hinske to strike out I changed the channel to the Knicks, who, get this...won! 1-0 baby! Sure it was to the Heat and yeah, they almost blew it in the end, but they won. You can say with a straight face the Knicks have a winning record.

And guess what? The Rangers are doing pretty damn well right now. Maybe new york fans will have a decent winter to quell the pain of the fall.

Or not :)

Inappropriate Comments Made During Game 5

On Iwamura's drop in the 6th: "That went right between his glove and his chest. If he were a woman, he'd have had that!" 

If I have any more brain-keyboard filter failures, I'll edit them in. 

Stupid Radio Guys, Vegas, and the Seventies

Driving into work this morning, I had Mike & Mike in the morning on. Naturally, given what's going on, they are chatting and complaining about the this suspended game situation. Mostly, the fact that Vegas still thinks it's the 1970's and paid out bets that the Phillies would win game 5.

Now, Mike (not Gorrick or whatever) was insistent, insistent I say, that this would not be the case in the regular season. And I say he's dead wrong!

Now, everyone take out your text books (or Acrobat reader as the case may be). In section 2, just to start out with, we can find the definition of a called game - one that is terminated for any reason. I am paraphrasing here, I'm sure anyone reading this can look up the rest themselves.

Now, the meat. Section 4.10-4.12. How is an official game decided?

4.10(c) defines an official game. Nothing you probably don't know here if you're still reading :)

4.11 defines the final score of a game as the score when the game ends. Section (d), since at least 1980, not that a called game terminates at the very moment the umpires stopped play...unless it's suspended. That's where Selig came in during the press conference and brought up 4.12(a)6, tied games are suspended games.

Baseball's web site has a nice little FAQ up to clarify things a little more right now. Apparently, the rule for rolling back the score to the last full inning was eliminated in 1980. WHY IS VEGAS TAKING BETS BASED ON 1980 RULES? Ah well. The "tie games are suspended" part came about in 2007.

Ah well...what can you expect from ESPN anyway? Ratings and controversy I guess.

Carry on.

NBA Jam Is Haunted

And other fun facts about the game

(My head keeps saying AWWW HIT THE STEAL BOOMCHAKALAKALAKA)

Everyone Loves Domes

Howard Bryant, on ESPN.com, suggests a way to have this weather situation NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN: Put a roof on every stadium. 

"Not stretching the World Series into November next year" has not yet been suggested. Maybe it'll take a Fenway Park snow-out for that one. 

Link to article

Of Pressing Concern

If the Rayvolution continues, a World Series Game 7 would take place on Halloween. Sorry Philly kids, no trick or treating this year. Go run with Rocky or something.